


Secrets

by alexandra__spamilton



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Diagon Alley, Flourish and Blotts, Hogwarts, M/M, Metamorphmagus, Quidditch, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-09
Packaged: 2018-10-28 04:12:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 5,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10823502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexandra__spamilton/pseuds/alexandra__spamilton
Summary: James Sirius Potter tells his God brother, Teddy Lupin, that he's gay. It goes surprisingly well.





	1. Chapter 1

“I have an announcement, I have been offered a position as a Hogwarts professor, and I’ve decided to take the job,” Teddy said one night at dinner. 

Little did James know, he’d actually hate having his godbrother, Teddy Lupin, as a Professor. 

 

***

 

“Professor Lupin?” James asked one morning after lessons.

 

“Yes, Mister Potter?”

 

“I was wondering, er… I need to tell you something. Teddy, I need to tell Teddy something, not Professor Lupin. Is--is that alright?”

 

“Jamie, is everything okay?”

 

“Can we go to your office?” James was shaking, he was so nervous.

 

“Of course, Jamie,” Teddy said as he got up from his desk and led James to his office.

 

The second Teddy shut the door behind him, his hair turned yellow. He always let his guard down around James. Yellow hair meant Teddy was worried.

 

“Teddy, I need to tell you something.”

 

“Yes, Jaime, what is it?”

 

“I--I’m gay, Teddy. I like men. I fancy them. You’re the only person I’ve told…” James heard Teddy breathe a sigh of… relief?

 

“Jaime, don’t scare me like that again. I thought you had gotten someone pregnant, or killed somebody, or--”

 

“So, you’re fine with it?”

 

“Jaime, you’re acting like I didn’t already know.”

 

“What do you mean?” James asked, a look of pure terror in his eyes.

 

“I’m not saying everyone knows, so just calm down, Jamie. I grew up with you. I know you better than you think.”

 

_ I grew up with you.  _

 

“Do you think Dad’ll care?”

 

“Not unless he catches you snogging Draco Malfoy or something.” Teddy joked.

 

“Ha ha, very funny, he’s too old.”

 

“So, how’d you figure it out, Jamie?”

 

_ Well, I figured that me being in love with you must mean I’m gay.  I’m in love with you, Teddy.  _

 

“I uh, I caught feelings for someone and they’re a guy. I mean after the first few months, I knew they weren’t going away anytime soon, so I decided to embrace it.”

 

“Is he, uh, gay?”

 

“I don’t know. Its funny, I’ve known him forever, and he’s fairly easy to read, but I haven’t got a clue.”

 

“Jamie?”

 

“Yeah, Teddy?”

 

“Thanks for telling me.”

 

“Don’t tell Al, okay?”

 

Teddy pretended to zip his mouth shut and threw away the invisible key. 

 

***

 

“Teddy! Er, uh, Professor Lupin, I mean.” 

 

“Yes, Mister Potter?”

 

“Professor, I was wondering what your plans were for the summer holidays?”

 

“Well, I have a part-time job at Flourish and Blotts, and I’ll have to go apartment hunting.”

 

“Teddy, just stay with us. Please?”

 

Teddy sighed and looked at his Jamie. The pair stopped walking for a moment.

 

“Jamie, I’m a grown-up now. I have to behave like one. If you’re extending an invitation, I’d be delighted to stay until I find a place of my own.”

 

“Good enough.” James was smiling, now.

 

*** 

 

The summer holidays couldn’t arrive quickly enough. James was counting down the days until Teddy would be staying with his family. He had written his mother, explaining that he had invited Teddy to stay with them until he found his own place. He offered to share his room with their guest. 

 

The Potter/Granger-Weasley/Lupin clan stepped onto platform 9 ¾ and were greeted with  _ tons  _ of hugs and kisses. 

 

“Are you sure it’s not a bother for me to stay with your family?” Teddy whispered to his Jamie--er, uh, James. 

 

“‘Course not, Teddy. Mum said it would be her pleasure and for you to stay as long as you want.”

 

Lunch was a feast, as to be expected in the Potter household. Teddy was informed he’d be staying in James’s room, and James blushed and rubbed his neck and said, “If that’s alright with you, Teddy.”

 

“I don’t see why not,” Teddy had replied.

 

That night, Teddy asked James if he had planned to tell his parents that he was gay.

 

“Teddy, I see no point in telling them unless I’m in a serious relationship.”

 

“Jamie, secrets about who you are, aren’t meant to be kept. You know that, though.”

 

“Teddy,” James had tears in his eyes. “I can’t--just thinking about disappointing my parents, after all they’ve done for me, kills me.”

 

“Oh, Jamie,” Teddy said as he went to hug his Jamie. He didn’t say how he knew his parents wouldn’t mind, because Jamie would ask how he was so sure they’d accept him. They accepted Teddy when he told them he was gay. 

 

They had tried to convince him to ask Victoire, James’ cousin, out on a date. Teddy had blurted out that he was gay without a second thought, because he realized he’d rather be kicked out of the family for that, than if he were to lead her on and break her heart. They accepted him with open arms, and nobody had to get hurt. They were the only people who knew. Well, them and some bloke called Sebastian Smythe whom Teddy had snogged in his seventh year after a bit too much firewhiskey. 

 

“Jamie, can I tell you a story?”

 

“Of course, Ted.”

 

_ Here goes nothing.  _ “When I was in my seventh year at Hogwarts, I’d had a bit too much firewhiskey, and I wound up in a broom cupboard with a bloke. His name’s Sebastian. Anyway, it helped me realize I’m gay, and when I told your parents they couldn’t have been more accepting.”

 

“Lupin, your hair is green. Why are you scared?” James wondered, unable to wipe the smile off of his tear-stained face.

 

“I didn’t know I was. Huh.” Teddy knew exactly why he was scared, but he couldn’t tell his Jamie.

 

“Sebastian… are you two still… I mean is there anyone you fancy, Teddy Lupin?”

 

“No, no I’m not seeing anyone, Jamie.”

 

“Why the hell not?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Teddy, you’re hot. You know you’re hot, too. That’s why your hair has turned pink.”

 

“Damn it, Jamie, you’re embarrassing me.”

 

“Yeah, I know.” And the pair fell into a comfortable silence, until Teddy asked James if he’d ever kissed a guy. 

 

“I haven’t.”

 

“Oh.” 

 

“I mean, you’re the only person who knows about me. Teddy, I’ve never even been on a date.”

 

“With a guy.”

 

“Or a girl. I was never attracted to girls, and when I realized the reason for that was because I was in love with… someone, I--I couldn’t bring myself to pretend.”

 

“This someone must be special.”

 

“You have no fucking idea, Teddy.”

 

“So, you haven’t even kissed anyone?”

 

“I almost kissed Marlena Wartle in year three, during a game of spin the bottle, but I convinced the person next to me that the bottle was, in fact, pointing at them.”

 

“You knew in year three?”

 

“Subconsciously, I guess, yeah.”

 

“I think you should tell Al.”

 

“Teddy, Albus will tell mum and dad.”

 

“No, he won’t Jamie.”

 

“I’ll tell him in the morning.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Al? I need to talk to you about something.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“I mean Teddy already knew, so you might, but I’m gay.”

 

“Does Teddy know the other bit?” Albus whispered.

 

“You know?”

 

“Yes, you idiot.”

 

“No, he doesn’t know. I can’t tell him, not while I’m still at Hogwarts.”

 

“Sure, James. By the way, Scorpius and I are dating.”

 

“Really? How did I not figure that out? Good for you.”

 

“Thanks, Jamie.”

 

***

 

Teddy started his job at Flourish and Blotts the next day. James decided he needed a book, so he went to Diagon Alley in search of one. 

 

“Hello. Welcome to Flourish and Blotts, may I help you find anything in particular?” Teddy said to James when he walked into the bookstore. 

 

“Yeah, I’m looking for a book, can you help me find one?”

 

“I just said I would, it’s literally my job.”

 

“Great.” James said, smiling at Teddy.

 

“Wait, do you actually have a book in mind, or--”

 

“Nope, come on,” James looked at his God-brother’s name tag, “Ted. Let’s go find a book.”

 

“Merlin, why would I ever tell you where I was working?”

 

“Because you love me,” James winked.

 

_ Jamie, you have no fucking idea. _

 

“Do you even read?”

 

“Depends.”

 

“On what?”

 

“On whether or not the new employee at Flourish and Blotts is hot. He is. So now, I’m an avid reader.”

 

“Sod off, Jamie.” Teddy said as his hair turned a brilliant shade of pink. 

 

“I’m only messing around, Ted. But, do you think I could get a friends and family discount?”

 

“James, we haven’t even found a book yet.”

 

“What’s your favorite read, Ted?”

 

“My dad had a book called  _ Moby Dick  _ and I’ve read it about a thousand times. It’s a muggle book, and it has all of his notes in the margins. It’s my piece of him, you know?”

 

“Wow, like handwritten notes?”

 

“Yeah.” Teddy’s hair turned a dark blue, and James knew he was getting sad. 

 

“Do they have a section here with muggle books?”

 

“Its small,” Teddy said, leading James to the back of the store.

 

“Do you think they have  _ Moby Dick _ ?”

 

“We can look, Jamie.”

  
And so they looked. And they found it. And James took it home with him and read it until Teddy got home from work. 


	3. Chapter 3

It seemed to James that Teddy had forgotten about wanting his own flat. James was relieved. 

 

“Teddy, I think I’m ready to tell mum and dad.”

 

“Jamie, I’m proud of you. I’ll be right up here if you need anything, alright?”

 

“Teddy, could you come with me?” 

 

Teddy agreed, but he was hoping Harry and Ginny wouldn’t assume James was suddenly gay because he was sharing a bedroom with their gay Godson. 

 

“Mum? Dad, I’ve something to tell you.”

 

“Yes, dear. What is it?” Ginny asked, her brow furrowed.

 

“I’m gay.”

 

Harry and Ginny looked at each other and burst out laughing.

 

“I’m sorry, I guess I missed the joke?”

 

Harry said, “James, we know. We’ve known since you were six and you told us that you fancied Teddy.”

 

“I don’t recall that ever happening,” James said, as he noticed Teddy’s hair turn white--danger. 

 

“If that’s all James, I have food cooking.” Ginny got up, kissed her eldest child on his forehead and walked out of the room. Harry followed.

 

When the two boys were alone again, James shut the door and turned to Teddy. 

 

“Why is your hair white, Teddy?”

 

“Jamie,” Teddy whispered.

 

“What, Teddy? What could possibly have happened in the last ten minutes that’s even remotely dangerous?”

 

“Easy to read, someone you’ve known forever, calling me hot, Jamie…”

 

“Teddy, I--” 

 

“How could I not know?” Teddy’s hair turned pink, then almost immediately back to white.

 

“Teddy, I couldn’t bring myself to tell you. You’re so much better than I am, you’re older.  Merlin, Teddy, you’re my  _ Professor _ . You’re part of my family, I shouldn’t feel this way towards you, Teddy, but I can’t help it.”

 

“Jamie, how long?”

 

“Since fifth year.”

 

“Jamie, I can’t--we can’t.”

 

“Look, Teddy, I get it. I’m just some little kid. This is why I didn’t tell you, because I knew you’d hate me.” James ran to their bedroom and slammed the door. 

 

After a few hours, James heard a knock on his door. 

 

“Go away,” James yelled.

 

“ _ Alohomora.”  _ Teddy charmed the door open and closed it behind him.

 

“Jamie, please, look at me.”

 

“Why? So you can tell me how you’re moving out because I disgust you?”

 

“Jamie, you could never disgust me, just fucking look at me.”

 

James looked at his God-brother. It was obvious Teddy had been crying as well. 

 

“What?”

 

“Jamie, I could lose my job.”

 

“I’m not a fucking idiot, Teddy.”

 

“I spoke with your parents, and they don’t mind if I continue staying here. Do you want me to go?”

 

“No, Teddy. Of course I don’t.”

 

“Jamie, close your eyes, I wanna see something.”

 

James closed his eyes, and just as Teddy was about to lean in and kiss his Jamie, Albus barged into the bedroom announcing dinner. 

 

“Oh, shit. Sorry Teddy.” Albus said as he slowly backed out of the room. 

 

Teddy was wide-eyed, and James was running to catch up with Albus to ask him why he’d apologized to Teddy.


	4. Chapter 4

“Al, what was that about?”

 

“You tell me.”

 

“What? Al--”

 

“Boys, dinner.”

 

“Coming, Mum.”

 

After dinner, the boys cleared their dishes and James asked if he and Albus could fly around before it got dark.

 

“Be safe, and stay in the neighborhood.”

 

“Thanks, dad.”

 

The brothers got their brooms out of the shed, and took to the sky. After an hour or so, (they really love flying) James touched down in a field behind their neighbor’s house.

 

“Al, what was happening when you barged into my room?”

 

“First, the door wasn’t locked. Second, do you honestly not know?”

 

“Know what? Know that Teddy found out how I feel? Know that he’s disgusted by me but he’s pretending he isn’t? Or that literally everyone in the motherfucking universe knew I was gay before I did?”

 

“Merlin, Jamsie, he’s not disgusted by you, trust me.”

 

“How do you know?”

 

“Ask Teddy. Come on, I’ll race you home.”

 

Albus won the race, but James had something bigger on his mind than who gets home the fastest.

 

“Al?”

 

“I’ll send him out.”

 

“Thanks.”  James could never figure out how Albus always knew what was on his mind.

 

“Jamie? Albus told me to come outside.”

 

“Teddy, how do you feel about me?”

 

“Jamie, look at me.”

 

“Teddy, it’s really dark…”

 

“ _Lumos Maxima!_ Alright, Jamie, now you can see me.”

 

“Teddy. How. Do. You. Feel. Towards. Me?” James made a point of enunciating each word.

 

“Jamie, I… I… oh, screw it.” Teddy said, as he dropped his wand and leaned closer to his Jamie. Teddy finally kissed his Jamie and James kissed him back.

 

After a while, the pair needed to breathe, and James looked at Teddy like he’d hung the moon.

 

“Wow.” James breathed.

 

“Jamie, I hope you know how I feel about you now."

 

“I’m still a little foggy on the details. Would you tell me again?” James asked, and as Teddy began to kiss his Jamie once more, they heard a window opening.

 

“Merlin, Jamie, stop snogging Teddy and come inside!” Albus called from his bedroom window.

 

“Shut up, idiot!” James yelled at his younger brother while simultaneously flipping him off. 

 

I can't believe that was your first kiss..."

 


	5. Chapter 5

The rest of summer flew by. James was dreading school, because he knew what it meant for him and Teddy. 

 

“Teddy?” James asked one afternoon while the pair were snuggling on a hammock in the backyard.

 

“Mmm?” Teddy’s eyes were closed, and he was drawing lazy circles on his Jamie’s back. 

 

“School starts again next week.”

 

“I know, Jamie.” 

 

“Are we going to break up?”

 

“I don’t want that, no.”

 

“What are we going to do, then?”

 

“Jamie, it’s your last year there.”

 

“So, you want me to find a Sebastian Smythe to snog in the broom cupboard?”

 

“Not quite. Unless you want to.”

 

“Teddy-bear, I only have eyes for you.” Teddy’s hair has been purple (love) since their first kiss. 

 

“Good.”

 

“Can you leave your hair purple while we’re at Hogwarts?”

 

“I usually go ginger at school, Jamie. You know that.”

 

“Teddy,” James whispered, smiling.

 

“Yes, Jamie?”

 

“What if on Hogsmeade Saturdays we stay at the school together?”

 

“I’d love that.”

 

***

 

James was not anticipating how torturous being without his Teddy-bear would actually be. That first Hogsmeade Saturday could not come quickly enough! James decided he would pick up a few things in Hogsmeade before visiting his Teddy-bear.

 

“Teddy, open up,” James said, unable to knock, or turn the knob because his hands were full.

 

“Hello, James, come in, I’ve been meaning to discuss something with you.” Teddy said, with a wink. 

 

James went into Teddy’s living chambers and set his things down while Teddy locked the door thoroughly and placed an inside-only silencing charm. That way, they could hear if anyone knocked, but nobody could hear what was going on inside. When Teddy was finished, he pushed James into the bedroom and locked that door as well. 

 

“Teddy-bear, I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Jamie.” 

 

“I know, your hair’s been purple since I walked in.” James was smirking.

 

“Shut up and kiss me, Jamie.”

 

After a while, James decided to take it a step further and pulled off Teddy’s shirt. 

 

“James,” Teddy breathed heavily, “I love you.” 

 

“I love you too, Teddy.”

 

Pretty soon, both boys were half-naked and James was still trying to take it further. 

 

“Jamie, are you sure?”

 

“Teddy, trust me, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this. For you.”

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you too… Professor.” James said with a wink.

 

“Mister Potter?”

 

“Yes, Professor Lupin.”

 

“Okay, so we’re doing this.”

 

Teddy knew what to do. He knew certain… er, spells to say at certain times and before doing certain things. James had only ever kissed before. James couldn’t help but wonder who had taught his Teddy-bear these intimate things. James had saved himself for Teddy. Every part of James belonged to Teddy. 

 

“Wait, stop.”

 

“Is everything alright Jamie?”

 

“I have to know, Teddy. Are you a virgin?”

 

“Oh, Jamie,” Teddy whispered.

 

“Who was it? Sebastian? Teddy, I have to know.”

 

“It was before I’d realized I was gay. In fifth year, I slept with a girl. I didn’t love her, Jamie.”

 

“Okay.” James said after a few minutes of silence. 

 

“I think… I think we should wait.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Jamie, I love you.”

 

“I know.” James whispered, before turning away from Teddy to cry.

 

Teddy wasn’t James. He’d grown up without ever knowing his own mum and dad. He was older and more experienced, naturally. That didn’t mean James couldn’t get upset about these things, though. How could Teddy sleep with someone he didn’t love? 

 

Teddy brought James one of his t-shirts to put on. James was still crying. 

 

“Jamie, talk to me, please?”

 

“How do you know you love me?”

 

“Jamie,” Teddy sighed. “I’m risking my career by being with you, because I can’t be without you, Jamie. I can’t stand the thought of hurting you. I need you. I need you like a fish needs water. I’m in love with you, and for the first time in my life, I’m completely happy. You make my life better, Jamie. I love the way your eyebrows crease when you’re concentrating on something. I love the way you smell. I love the way you hold my hand, like it’s your lifeline. Jamie, I--”

 

“Alright, Teddy, I get it. You love me. I don’t think I could stand to be without you either, Teddy.”

 

“Come here,” Teddy said.

 

James lay in Teddy’s arms for the rest of the night.

 


	6. Chapter 6

By the end of the school year, James was still a virgin, and Teddy was still the love of his life. 

 

They had planned to move into a flat together after James graduated.

Albus and Scorpius had planned to tell their parents about their own relationship during James’ graduation party. 

 

“I’m proud of you, Albus.” James had said to his brother before his graduation party. 

 

“Thanks, Jamie.”

 

“Mum, Dad, Mr. Malfoy? Scorpius and I, we’re more than friends. We’re in love, okay? I just thought it was time we told you.” 

 

“Scorpius? Is this true? Are you in love with this…  _ Potter? _ ” 

 

“Yeah, Dad. I am.” Scorpius looked at Al, smiled, and grabbed his hand.

 

“It’s about motherfucking time.” Draco said, turning to Harry and Ginny.

 

“Who had June?” Ginny asked, pulling out her money.

 

“You bet on when we would come out?” Albus asked.

 

“Al, honestly, you two weren’t very discreet at all.” Harry said to his youngest son.

 

“Bollocks.” Albus said, rolling his eyes and heading over to the dessert table, Scorpius in tow.

 

“Look at them, sixteen and they already know who they are.” James said to his Teddy-bear.

 

“James, are you alright?” Teddy asked.

 

“Ted, I’m fine. I just... “ James gave Teddy a quick kiss. “Let’s dance, babe.”

 

They danced and they had a bit too much to drink. James fell on his arse more than twice. It was a great party.

 

“Ted?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Do you think owls are gay, too? Heh. Owls. OOOwls. That’s an odd word,” James slurred. 

 

“Merlin, Jamie, I think it’s time we get you in bed.”

 

“Ted, I’m not sleepy!”

 

“Babe, you’re hammered. Come on.”

 

“Carry me, Professor?”

 

Teddy carried his Jamie up the stairs and put him on his bed.

 

“Goodnight, my love.” Teddy said, as he turned out the light.

 

***

  
  


The next day, Teddy and James moved into their flat. 

 

“Merlin, these boxes are heavy.” James said, as he carried a box into their new home.

 

“Jamie, you’re an idiot,” Teddy said, shaking his head. “You’re no longer a minor. Use magic.”

 

“Oh. Right.”

 

“Better?”

 

“Yeah, yeah much easier.” They were completely moved in in no time at all.

 

“What are we going to do when the summer’s over, Teddy? I have my Quidditch and you have Hogwarts… We’ll never see each other.”

 

“We’ll savor the summer and the stolen weekends,” Teddy said with a wink. “I’ve sorted it out with McGonagall. I’ll take the floo here, and if you’re not home, I’ll apparate to wherever you are.”

 

“Merlin, Ted. That sounds wonderful.”

 

The pair spent the rest of the afternoon snuggling in their bed. They shared everything now. The only things they didn’t share were toothbrushes and wands. 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: THE FOLLOWING CHAPTER CONTAINS RAPE

At first, Teddy came to visit his Jamie every weekend. Then, it was every other weekend. Teddy stopped visiting after the winter holidays. He didn’t even send James an owl on Valentine’s day. James assured himself that it was because Teddy was so busy with work, but he only let himself think that for so long. Teddy didn’t come home for Easter, either. James knew he was in perfect health, because he was Al’s Professor, and Al assured him that Teddy was more than fine.

 

One Saturday night, James decided to go out for a drink. He was already a bit tipsy when a kind stranger sat next to him at the bar.

 

“Rough day?” the stranger asked.

 

“You’ve no idea.”

 

“Can I buy you a drink?”

 

“That would be nice,” James said, smiling at the handsome stranger.

 

“What’s on your mind, uh, I’m sorry, what’s your name?”

 

“James.”

 

“Right. I’m Seb.”

 

“Well, Seb. My boyfriend is completely ignoring me for no reason. Has been for months, actually. I mean, with his job, he’s never home anyway. He doesn’t write. Nothing.”

 

“What’s he do?”

 

“He’s a Professor at a… boarding school.”

 

“I see,” the man said, placing his hand over James’. “Well, I’ll tell you, if I was dating someone as fit as you, I’d visit you any chance I got.”

 

“Okay,” said James.

 

“You seem a little… well, drunk. Would you like me to walk you home, James?”

 

“I think that would be wonderful.”

 

James and the stranger walked four blocks to the flat.

 

“Thank you, mate.” James said, fumbling around for his keys.

 

“Let me help you.” Seb reached into James’ front pocket and retrieved the keys before unlocking the door. “You sure you’re alright on your own?”

 

“Would-- would you like to come in?” James offered, feeling a little flustered. I mean, Seb’s hand had been right _there._

 

“I’d love to.” Seb said, closing the door behind him.

 

“Can I get you anyth--mmph,” James was cut off when Seb kissed him. James kissed back.

 

Seb took off James’ shirt and then his own. “Bedroom?” Seb asked.

 

James led Seb into the bedroom.

 

“Jamie, what the bloody hell?”

 

_Shit. Shitshitshit._

 

“Teddy?” James asked, in disbelief.

 

“Wait, Teddy _Lupin_?”

 

“Sebastian, what the hell are you doing snogging my boyfriend?”

 

“Seb… Sebastian Smythe?”

 

“Jamie, why?”

 

“Teddy, _you_ don’t get to ask _me_ why. Why did you stop coming home? You stopped writing. I only knew you weren’t dead, because Albus told me.” James was shaking.

 

“Are you seriously pretending like you never sent me that owl?”

 

“Ted, what the bloody hell are you talking about?”

 

“Two weeks after Christmas, you sent me an owl explaining how you decided it wasn’t going to work out between us. Jamie, you broke up with me… how do you not remember this?”

 

“I didn’t send you a bloody break up owl.”

 

“Really?” Teddy asked, pulling out a wrinkled piece of parchment.

  


“ _Ted,_

_I’m breaking up with you. It’s too hard to be with someone like you. I don’t love you anymore. Stop visiting. Don’t write me back, ever._

 

_Diffindo,_

 

_James.“_

 

“Diffindo? You think I’m that clever as to close a break-up letter---which I never sent---with the severing charm?”

 

“Well, then who the bloody hell sent it, and why were you snogging someone else?”

 

“I thought you were ignoring me, and I’m drunk.”

 

“Were you going to sleep with him? That’s why you came in here, isn’t it?”

 

“I sent the bloody letter.” Sebastian said, grabbing onto James’ arm.

 

“Sebastian, let go of him, now.” Teddy yelled.

 

“”What’s going on?” James asked.

 

“I intend to finish what I started. Lupin, you can watch, or you can get out.”

 

“Like hell,” Teddy said, punching Sebastian in the face.

 

“Oh, now you’ve crossed the line, Lupin. _Petrificus Totalus!”_

 

Sebastian threw James, who was still drunk, onto the bed. James finally realized what was happening, and tried to fight back. Sebastian was too strong. He undressed James and then he undressed himself. James was sobbing under the grip of his attacker. James felt useless. Sebastian forced himself inside James. James knew there must already be bruises forming all over his body. He felt like dying. Sebastian kissed him. Sebastian choked him. Teddy lay there like a slug. When Sebastian finally left, James forced himself to grab his wand, and pointed it at Teddy, saying _Finite!_ Before breaking down. Teddy picked James up and dressed him, before apparating to St. Mungo’s.


	8. Chapter 8

Teddy called James’ family after making sure James received immediate medical attention. 

 

“I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry.” Teddy said over and over.

 

“I’ll not rest until I find this man.” Harry said, fuming.

 

“I don’t know how he found Jamie…” Teddy said between sobs.

 

“You say he tried to break the two of you up?” 

 

Teddy nodded.

 

“Do you have the letter? I might be able to trace it.” Harry said.

 

“Here,” Teddy handed Harry the crumpled piece of tear-stained parchment with a shaking hand. 

 

“Mr. Potter?” asked a woman who seemed to work at the hospital. 

 

“That’s me.” Harry said, turning to her. 

 

“Your son will be okay. He has two broken ribs, multiple bruises, and he will be unable to talk comfortably until his neck recovers. You may visit him if you’d like.”

 

“Thank you, Irene.” Ginny said, clinging onto her husband’s hand. 

 

“You two go on, I’ll check on him later.” Teddy said, collapsing into a very uncomfortable chair.

 

***

 

“Jamie?” Teddy asked, walking into the hospital room. “I’m so sorry, Jamie. I… I should have told you.”

 

“Told me what, Teddy?” James asked, his voice raspy.

 

“About Sebastian.”

 

“Teddy, what the hell are you talking about?” James croaked. 

 

“He--Sebastian did the same thing to me. He got me drunk and he took me into a broom cupboard and he… he raped me, Jamie. I know I should have told you, but I was ashamed. And then I had to watch--I couldn’t move, Jamie. I’m so sorry.”

 

“Teddy, have you told anyone?”

 

“No, just you.”

 

“I’m sorry for what happened to you Teddy, I really am. I know that you’re beating yourself up for not turning him in, but don’t. My dad’s going to make sure he goes to Azkaban, okay?”

 

“I’m so sorry, James.”

 

“I know.”

 

“I want you to live with me.”

 

“Teddy, we have a flat together already.”

 

“No, at Hogwarts. I want you to live with me at Hogwarts, Jamie.”

 

“Well, I won’t be playing Quidditch anytime soon, so why the hell not?”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I don’t think it’s smart for me to be on my own and I’ve missed you so much.”

 

“Jamie, I should have never left you on your own for so long. I should have known something was going on when Al kept asking why I never came ‘round anymore. I just wanted you to have your space, like I thought you wanted, Jamie.”

 

“Stop blaming yourself, Teddy-bear. I’m just grateful that something caused you to come and visit last night, because if you hadn’t, there’s no telling what would’ve happened to me.”

 

“Oh, Jamie.” Was all Teddy could say, because even though he had gone home to yell at James for breaking his heart, he ended up helping him out of a life-threatening situation… kind of.

 

“I love you so much, Teddy. I  _ always  _ have.”

 

“I know Jamie, me too.” 

 


	9. Chapter 9

*Flashback*

 

Teddy and James were de-gnoming the garden one summer afternoon. It was the summer following Teddy’s first year at Hogwarts, and James was six. James was spotting the gnomes and Teddy would pick them up, spin them, and toss them as far as he could. Every gnome Teddy tossed earned an enthusiastic round of applause from James. 

 

“Alright, Jamie, I need to go home soon.” Teddy said as he ruffled James’ hair.

 

“Goodbye Ted-Ted, I love you.” James said, hugging Teddy with all the strength a six year old can have. 

 

That night, when Harry and Ginny were tucking their eldest son into bed, they asked if he had a good time playing with Teddy.

 

“Oh, yes! I love Teddy, and I think we will be like you and mummy.”

 

“Jamie, sweetie, what do you mean?” Ginny asked her son.

 

“I want to marry him, mummy.” James said, with a big smile on his face. “He’s very strong, and he doesn’t get mad at me. He plays with me even though he’s big. He’s wonderful.”

 

“Okay, Jamie. Goodnight my love.” Ginny said, as she and Harry kissed their son on his forehead. 

 

***

 

*Flash forward to Teddy’s seventh year* 

 

Teddy had gone out with a few girls, but none of them made him feel anything. He’d heard that one of the Ravenclaws named Sebastian Smythe was gay. Teddy planned to ask him how he knew for sure. 

 

“Oi! Sebastian? Hi, I’m Teddy Lupin. Can I ask you a kind of personal question?” Teddy asked, after tracking down Sebastian on the way to the Great Hall.

 

“You can. Dunno if I’ll answer it though.”

 

“Okay, well I heard that you were… well, gay. I was wondering how you realized?”

 

“I am. I was always bored with girls. Blokes are up for more, if you know what I mean.” Sebastian winked at Teddy. 

 

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Teddy sighed.

 

“I mean, if you’re truly curious, I could help you out?” Sebastian offered.

 

“Well, I… I don’t really…”

 

“Hey, I won’t force you to do anything, okay?”

 

“I guess… we could maybe um, hang out sometime?” 

 

“Sure.” Sebastian winked before walking away. 

 

“TEDDY!” James yelled as he was running to catch up with his God-brother.

 

“Hey, James.”

 

It was James’ first year at Hogwarts, and much to Teddy’s dismay, he was sorted into Gryffindor. 

 

“I wish houses could sit together at mealtimes, Teddy.”

 

“That would be nice.” Teddy said, clearly only half paying attention to his Jamie. No, not  _ his  _ Jamie. His God-brother Jamie.

 

“Well, I’m really hungry, so I’ll see you around?”

 

“Of course, Jamie.”

 

***

 

*Flash forward to James’ fifth year*

 

“I have an announcement, I have been offered a position as a Hogwarts professor, and I’ve decided to take the job,” Teddy said one night at dinner. 

 

Everybody congratulated Teddy. Little did James know, he’d actually hate having his godbrother, Teddy Lupin, as a Professor.  

 

At school, James saw Teddy multiple times a day. They talked, and James laughed at Teddy’s awful jokes (“What do you say to someone with chicken pox? QUIDDITCHING!!!”). In no time at all, James realized he was in love with his straight, older God-brother/Professor. 

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

After Teddy and James  _ finally  _ got married (James proposed two years after  _ “the incident” _ ), Teddy asked James if he was ready for children yet. 

 

“Teddy, you know I want a few kiddos, but what if I’m--we’re not good at it?”

 

“Jamie, we both teach for a living.”

 

“Well, what if they’re not wizards? I won’t mind, but we’d have to switch jobs and everything. Like do you want babies, or are we adopting toddlers or teens or?” James was talking a mile a minute.

 

“Breathe, Jamie. I was thinking, maybe we could use a surrogate? We’ll adopt as well, but I thought we’d look into more options.”

 

“Who would even--”

 

“Victoire has already agreed, Jamie.”

 

“My cousin, Victoire? The one who fancied you until she was sixteen?”

 

“Jamie, she’s happily engaged. I’m happily gay. Just, please, consider it? For me?” 

 

“She’s one-eighth Veela, you know.”

 

“I am aware of that, yes.”

 

“Well, that means that our child would be perfect, Teddy.”

 

“So, that’s a yes? Are you agreeing?”

 

“Teddy, I was never against children, you know that.”

 

***

 

“Ted, he’s perfect.” James said, taking their newborn son from Victoire’s arms.

 

“We knew he would be.”

 

“Remus Tonks Lupin,” James said to their newborn son. “I promise to love you forever.”

  
And forever he did.


End file.
